Why am I so depressed?
Why this turmoil within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will still praise Him
my Savior and my God?
Psalm 42:5, 11 and 43:5
I have been struggling lately. Struggling with loneliness, feelings of rejection, of not being good enough. Struggling with the wait, the wait for answers from God about several things, the silence and the stillness, my lack of faith and trust. My mind wanders and the enemy seizes every weak moment. I think to myself- I cannot do this. I cannot handle this anymore. And the reply back every time is- you are right. You cannot, but He can. You are too weak, but He is strong. You are going to lose every time, but with Him you can be victorious.
Today was a rough day. I missed him. My mind would not stop thinking about what I did wrong, why it was so easy for him to move on and why I still miss him and think about him. The enemy attacking. Attacking me on Easter Sunday! Taking my focus off of God and putting it on temporal, earthly, visible things. Taking my focus off of the One who died in my place, because He loved me so much, that I may live life abundantly in Him. I cringe when I think that I allow the enemy to win.
However, tonight my Bible reading was in Psalms. The plan I am currently using has me reading a few Psalms every Sunday. Tonight it was clear that God was speaking to me. His message- These thoughts and feelings you have are not new! Others have gone before you and had them. They struggled, they stumbled, but they knew the answer just like you know the answer. I am the answer! Put your hope in Me. I am your Savior and your God-even when the waiting hurts. Even when you don't feel me, I am there. I will give you answers in My time. My way is perfect. Trust Me, believe Me, put your hope in Me alone.
Linking with Titus 2 Tuesday
Boy it sure is hard for us humans to wait isn't it but when I've finally come to the end of my resources and leaned on God I've rest in peace. Thanks so much for sharing !!!
ReplyDeleteKrystle, I gather from a few of the things that you said here that you are trying to heal from a breakup. I had a 3.5 year relationship end very unexpectedly, and it left me devastated for a very long time. About 1 year later, here I am, bandaged up and healed by the Great Healer (God!). Perhaps you are getting lots of unhelpful advice from well intentioned friends and family...I don't want to sound like one of them. I do, however, want to let you know that it does get better and that God's plans are always better than our own. He knows what is best for us in every aspect of our lives. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDelete