However, what God has been showing me over this past year is that with Him I only need to do three things- trust Him, have faith that He is sovereign and no plans of His can be thwarted and to obey. The big 3! With God by my side, with my eyes on Him, with daily Bible reading and prayer, they are not difficult. It gets difficult when I take my eyes off of Him, when I don't remember He is always with me, when I don't read the Bible and pray.
In other words, when I focus on me and think its all about me, life gets hard. Life hurts enough, but without God it would be impossible. So back to stepping out in faith. God wants all of us, not just bits and pieces here and there. He wants the whole package. I have to daily surrender to God all of me-to use for His good, His glory and the spreading of His gospel. I am His and there is no one else who satisfies and loves me, covers me in grace and mercy and is completely faithful the way He is. No one ever will be. It's just not humanly possible.
During my time at this church I have felt His call to dive in, to get involved and to be real and vulnerable. Sitting back and slipping in and out each Sunday was not going to work. I had to get out of my comfort zone. God uses all the circumstances of our lives, all the good choices and all the bad choices, they can all be used by Him. But He can't use them or us if we don't invest in others, build up and encourage others and share the good, the bad and the ugly. The Christian life isn't meant to be lived in isolation. It's meant to be a community that supports and loves one another and takes that love to the people outside of the church, showing them God's love in action. He has answered my prayer and led me to this church and these people. He has already blessed me with some beautiful friendships (another answered prayer). He has already given me opportunities to serve (another answered prayer). I'm still waiting for those unanswered prayers, but am rejoicing in the prayers God has answered in a way I could never dream or imagine. So I will continue to wait (not focus on) for His timing, covered in His grace and for His plans that are far greater than mine!
That's the story of my life the last few months. Crazy third grade (that is a whole other blog post) and a new place to worship, grow and serve Him. Trust Him, have faith, and obey. Dive in! It is completely worth it- God knows exactly what He is doing!