Thursday, July 30, 2015

Refuse to Settle

A sweet friend of my mine told me this past week that I could be married. My response- what? She repeated that if I really wanted to be married that I could be married right now. But instead, that I was really waiting for God's best, not lowering my expectations. Like I said, she is so sweet and encouraging. It's true though-I will not lower my expectations and since my last relationship my expectations and my non-negotiables have changed. God has shown me what is vital to a marriage that is built upon Him. God first-always! He will be "our" firm foundation. 

However, I have reached this place after a journey of settling for a guy I knew was not a Christian, who had no desire to be a Christian and lived a very worldly lifestyle. I walked away from God, from the only relationship that will ever satisfy me. Walking away from God meant letting go of everything I had stood for and abandoning my expectations. After 3 long years, I finally reached bottom and cried out to God. I could not live like the world anymore. I was falling apart and nothing would help-nothing and no one except God. 

Seeking forgiveness from God and family, I was covered in His grace and love. His faithful love. His unrelenting love. His forgiveness and grace. Years passed and this blog began. A new, unexpected relationship blossomed and I thought that this is what I had been waiting for. God, however, had different plans. He used that relationship to draw me into a deeper intimacy with Him. A relationship so different from what I was use to. A desire and thirst for Him and Him alone. A satisfaction and contentedness so real I can honestly say with joy and thanksgiving that I am beyond blessed just as I am right now. Through my broken relationship, I found the One who never breaks His promises, who will never walk away and who always satisfies. 

My friend asked me how I felt if this guy I was waiting for didn't come? I looked at her and could confidently say that I would remain single. That God would give me the strength and the grace to live the single life if that was His plan for me. Because His plan for me is far better, far greater and far more beautiful than I could ever imagine. His plan is for my good and His glory! His plan leads to true joy and fulfillment. No guy on this earth can fulfill me. He wasn't made to. Only God can fill that place in each of our hearts that is restless and searching. I have learned so much in these last 10 years since graduating from college. To sum up:

Refuse to settle. Don't believe the lies of this world. 
Trust God. Walk in faith. No matter what!

And there is always this to consider ;)

Tuesday, July 14, 2015


One of my favorite places to worship God is in my car-singing without reserve. Praising God with heart, soul, mind and body. It doesn't matter that I can't carry a tune or that I might look like a lunatic with my hand lifted high. It is just me and God. (And all the other cars on the road, but so what?)

Today I was listening to Jeremy Camp and his song "We Are the Dreamers" was on. The words capture what God has been speaking to me and to the work He has been doing in my heart. This is my dream and I know my God can do anything! 

I have a dream
That the Earth would shake with the sound of Heaven
I have a dream
That the world would know the kind of freedom
That breaks through every chain
With every doubt erased
With hearts that are wide awake

We are the dreamers 
All things are possible
You are Redeemer
You're working miracles
Let's rise, rise
Rise to our feet 
And proclaim the name of Jesus

I have a dream
That hearts for You would thirst and hunger
I have a dream
We would reach our hands to help our brothers 
Where perfect love is found
The world would hear the sound
Of hearts that are wide awake

I can see the walls are breaking
The captives running free
We will walk and not be shaken
The doubting will believe 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Off the Map

Another vacation Bible school (VBS) has finished for the summer at my church. It was a great week with a fun theme that the kids really enjoyed. I had the pleasure of teaching the kindergarten age group. Fun, but exhausting. It was only from 9-12, but I came home each day (especially the first two days) hurting and falling into bed for a nap after eating lunch. 

Not exactly what I pictured my life being. Not exactly what I pictured my summer looking like either. I planned for VBS-that was a given, but my health spiraling downhill was a surprise. I thought that my health would improve when school ended, but there have been so many doctors appointments that I haven't really slowed down. But I know God wants me right where I am. VBS is for the kids, but the message this week has been more for me. 

The theme is "Journey Off the Map" and it is all about following your guide (God) no matter where He leads and no matter what He asks you to do. Through the music and lessons (about Daniel Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego), God is working in my heart and head to "stay the course." To trust, obey and follow Him. No matter where He leads, no matter what He asks me to do. 

I just don't know what that is yet. I know He is preparing me for the future. At this time of uncertainty in life (where I definitely feel "off the map") I have never felt calmer or more at peace. Spending time in His word, through prayer, through books and sermons, I am finding that transformation and renewing of my mind that is spoken of in Romans 12:2. 

Living life in the power of His transforming and amazing grace, fixing my eyes on Him and learning that each season of life is a gift from Him. Truly living life for Jesus, running hard after Him and leaving it all in His more than capable hands brings peace that only He can give. The future: "Unknown to us, known to Him." 

Our VBS Bible verse for this week: 

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Waiting Patiently?

While I'm Waiting...that is the name of my blog, right? If you have been with me since the beginning of my writing journey then you know that I am ultimately waiting for Jesus' return. At times I am anxiously awaiting, sometimes searching the sky, looking through the clouds, daydreaming about His  glorious arrival. Come, Lord Jesus, Come! 

I am also waiting for the time that God, if it be His will, will bring a godly man into my life. To serve God with, to start a family with, to raise this family in His truths and to do more together for the Lord than we could ever do apart. 

I know God has me right where He wants me. 32 years old, single, living at home, teaching in a public school and working in the nursery at my church. Right where He wants me. Do I know all the whys? Nope. Do I need to know? Nope. That's where faith comes in. Faith and trust in my Heavenly Father and His sovereign plan for my life. But I don't always wait so patiently. The struggle is real. It can be difficult. I am currently reading Elisabeth Elliot's The Path of Loneliness. I highly recommend it no matter what season of life God has you in. 

Chapter 22 is titled "How Do I Do This Waiting Stuff?" I love the answer and so I thought I would share it with you today. Elisabeth's answer comes straight from God's Word-Psalm 37. She describes this list as the principal elements from this Psalm of David (New English Bible translation). This list is straight from the book (parentheses added by Elisabeth and italics also). 

Trust in the Lord and do good. 
Dwell in the land (make your home, settle down, be at peace where God puts you)
Delight in the Lord (make the Lord your only joy)
 and He will give you what your heart desires. 
Commit your life to the Lord. 
Trust in Him and He will act. 
Be quiet before the Lord. 
Wait patiently for Him, not worrying about others. (pages 161 and 162)

There it is. The steps: trust, dwell, delight, commit, trust (again), be quiet and wait. Simple to write, hard to put into practice. Worth it? Most definitely! God is teaching me so much during this season of life. I have yet so much to learn, but I will continue to seek Him and I know that I will find Him as He promises in His Word. To God be the glory!