However, my world turned upside down at the end of November when our relationship was put on hold while he figured things out. I was devastated and threw myself into my teaching to help the days drag by. What I should have done was thrown myself into God's open arms.
In the middle of December God brought a sweet friend to mind and despite distance we were able to Face Time. God used her to reinforce what I was already thinking-that I had made this man an idol in my life and was putting him before God. I was relying on him for everything. I believe it was part of what pushed him away and has kept him away.
God has been teaching me that the wonderful gifts he gives us can so easily become idols if we don't keep Him first in our lives. What does that mean-keeping him first? First, spending time with Him each day, reading His Word and praying. I had let my devotion to God drift away. I wasn't spending any time with Him. Second, instead of bringing everything to God I dumped everything on this man-who was always very patient and understanding with me.
Since finding out our relationship was over at the end of December, I have been a big mess. I still love this man. He won my heart and made me believe in love again. He was a humongous blessing from God. I do not have any regrets about our relationship and all the wonderful times we had. I pray that God's will be done in our lives and (I cannot lie) that if he is part of God's will that God will bring him back into my life in His perfect timing. My God does big things so why not ask for big things, right?
God has showered His mercy and grace on me this week. He has shown me through His word how faithful He is even when I am not. He has calmed my anxious heart and given me a peace I did not know was possible. This does not mean I don't hurt anymore or that I don't wish things were different right now, but I know God works all things out for His children's good. God has the right to rule and reign in my life and sometimes the places He brings us to hurt, but He has promised to bring us through them, through the valley. He promises that we will never walk alone.
My resolution for 2015 is to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and to spend quality time with Him everyday. I won't stop dreaming, but I know Who to bring my dreams and desires to. With God all things are possible. He tells us to ask. He tells us to seek Him. I have found this week that when we seek Him, we will most definitely find Him.
This song has been on my playlist this week and has been an encouragement to me. I hope it is to you as well.