Monday, July 29, 2013

Ups and Downs

Yesterday was rough. The morning started with a migraine and was up and down from there. As evening approached, the pain spread everywhere and I felt like I was back at square one. Let me back up for a minute- Since school ended and I have had time to relax, sleep, go to the gym (for some light, low impact activity), etc. I have felt pretty good which was exciting. Also during the last week of school I had to stop antibiotics due to a low white blood cell count. Then I decided to just give my body a break. So imagine my disappointment when I wake up today with more pain like yesterday. 

I know God is in control. I know God can heal me. I know God is always with me. Do you hear the "but" coming? Because that is where I was yesterday with a "but" racing through my head. "but God I thought you were healing me..."but God sometimes I think you hate me...(I know He doesn't-just keeping it real) "but God I feel like this is some punishment for past life choices (I know it isn't). 

God has forgiven me for sins. He does not hold them over my head, use them as punishment, throw them in my face...but I know who does-Satan, the enemy. He likes nothing more than to get in my head and feed me these lies. He lives for it. And sometimes he gets the better of me. 

After confessing my bad attitude to God and choosing to say "Blessed be Your name" (see earlier post Choose to Say) that I felt a calm spread over me and peace in the midst of pain. On my way to a doctors appt. this morning I was listening to Chris Tomlin. Nothing takes me from a place of despair faster than praising my Savior. He is sovereign. He is a God of wonders! I just need to look up!

Linking with Inspire Me Monday and Titus 2 Tuesday

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