It's been a tough last few weeks, but then again it has been a tough past few years. For those of you who don't know, I have been seen by many doctors and have had multiple diagnosis' since December of 2010 when I could barely walk on the treadmill at the gym. Since then my final diagnosis has become chronic Lyme disease which is causing fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I have prayed many times for God to heal me completely and let me have the body I had before (where I could go to the gym 4 to 5 times a week after work). I have people praying for me all over the world.
Yet God, in His sovereignty, has chosen not to heal my body at this time. However, He has faithfully walked beside me on this roller coaster ride. I have been given so many different answers that at times I felt like giving up. I am a teacher. My job is emotionally and physically draining on a healthy body, but for a disease ridden body? Forget it! I was told that I would most likely have to go on disability or find a different job or a part time job. At each doctor visit, I am still asked if I am teaching. Not only am I still teaching, but God has taught me that I can do ALL things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). It is no longer a cliche to me. The word of God is alive and active in my life. Second Corinthians 12:9 tells me: "But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my
weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Paul understood what God has shown me through these last few years. His grace IS sufficient, His power IS made perfect in my weakness. The glorious answer to how I can still teach, 25 kindergartners no less, is through my God! I am weak, but He is strong!
I am not saying it is easy or that each day I have a grateful attitude, but God carries me through. He is the ONLY reason I am able to get up each morning and go to a job I love with the precious babes He has entrusted me to care for and educate. God has shown me that it is for HIS glory that I am not who I used to be. The old me was more self-centered, less loving, less patient and always in a rush. God has used my illness for my good (Romans 8:28). My relationship with God has never been more intimate and alive. This is what makes the tough days, weeks and months even sweeter! God is good ALL the time and ALL the time God is good.