Sunday, April 21, 2013

Thankful for Thirty

Always smell the flowers!
In just a few days I will turn 30. I have been dreading this day for a while now because I always thought that I would be married with 3 kids and probably homeschooling unless we needed two incomes and then I would be teaching somewhere. As you can see, I have thought a lot about this. However, Proverbs 19:21 says-Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. How true, how true, how true! I can plan all I want but God's purpose will always prevail. It has taken me a long time to truly accept and surrender to God's purpose. I have even tried to take matters into my own hands to achieve those goals of mine. I knew I was outside the will of God, sinning and living my own life the way I wanted to- completely against everything I had learned growing up in church. 

I chose to get in a relationship with a non-Christian and live like the world lives-for 3 years, but not once in those three years did God abandon me, even though I abandoned Him. He was right there waiting for me, the prodigal daughter, to realize I would find no satisfaction, no joy and no peace living like the world does. It took my boyfriend getting arrested for me to let God back into my life. I remember the night clearly and the sobs that racked my body as I called my mom and started to have a panic attack. She sent my brother to come get me and bring me home where I was wrapped in her arms. Instantly, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I could breathe again. My parents had never turned me away during those 3 years, never did they abandon me. God used my parents as physical examples of Himself. When my mom wrapped her arms around me that night it was like God was hugging me too and reassuring me that everything was going to be alright. After that night, I started to live the life God had for me. I repented of my sins and have grown closer to God than ever before. I wish I could take back those years. I wish I waited on God instead of doing things my own way because my own way never led me to true happiness, but only caused more heartbreak, loneliness and fear. 

So back to turning 30-I can honestly say that God has given me peace. He has given me joy! I am beyond grateful that He turned my life around and drew me back to Him in 2008. Yes, I am still single. Yes, I am still waiting, but there is no place I would rather be than here in the will of God. Some days are rough, but God promises throughout the Bible that He is always with me (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5, Isaiah 41:10), is working all things out for my good (Romans 8:28), that He will provide all of my needs (Philippians 4:19) and that He is faithful to finish the work He began in me (Philippians 1:6). 

My life verses are Jeremiah 29:11-13- "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

I am thankful that God has given me 30 years of life. My prayer is that for each year God chooses to bless me with that I may continue to call on Him, come to Him, pray to Him and seek Him with all my heart- whether single or married, healthy or sick.

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