Saturday, May 4, 2013


One of my visible scars

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
- "Never Once" (Matt Redman)     

Scars and struggles...I am sure like me that you have them. Whether they are visible or invisible, recent or past, I can honestly say God has given me joy, but it has not been an easy road. My joy comes from knowing that this world is not my home. My joy is knowing that God is faithful and true. My joy is knowing that even when God does not give me what I might desire (hence the waiting part of this blog), that what He does give me is the best for me right here and right now and that He will use me to bring glory to His name.

Today has been one of my harder days of illness and singleness. I have been completely exhausted and in bed for most of the day which of course leads to a lot of thinking. Ever wish you could just turn your brain off? That is me. I wish I could turn me off and have God hooked up 24/7. I realize that because of my flesh this is not possible. But I can cling to 2 Corinthians 10:5- We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

This is such a challenge for me. If I really think about the last part of that verse "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" I become overwhelmed and defeated. However, through the Holy Spirit, I can actively pursue this command. Yes, I want to be completely healed of Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, and all my other aches and pains. Yes, I want to get married and serve and glorify God's name with the man He has for me. And yes, I want children-biological or adopted, it does not matter because he or she or they will be a precious gift from God. But today that is not going to happen. So instead of moping and complaining, I am going to choose to take every thought captive to Christ and to sing praises to my God who is faithful, who gives constant grace and perfect peace and who has put joy in my heart. 

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13

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